Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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