"it" just moved
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
