Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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