This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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