capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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