Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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