Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
