I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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