There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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