Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
