strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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