just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
