You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
