Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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