okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize