he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
