I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I did not marry a roomba.
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