i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize