is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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