dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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