I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
