Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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