We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
