do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize