Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
