yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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