It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
