Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
