i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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