dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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