We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
