So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I intend to get homeless drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
