My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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