ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
