Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize