How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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