I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
