wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
someone owes me an orgasm
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
