Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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