Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know her cup size but not her name....
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