it's great music for shaving your balls
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
