Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
