idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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