there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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