She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
