She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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