shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
