i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
