So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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