so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
