If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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