You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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