just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
