I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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