Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
