Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
