I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
