Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
