someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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