So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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