did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
