you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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